baldie

*pulls hair out*
*runs around apartment screaming*

well at least if i jump off i'll have pretty view to look at.

brrrr

pink uggs? check!
knitted scarf? check!
thick tights? check!
tank top with long sleeve shirt over? check!
furry koala jacket? check!
finger gloves? check!
blanket? check!
heater? check!

even with all of that i'm still freezing big bum off. and it's only autumn. i'm so going to faint in winter.

it's 5 weeks until the end of the semester and i've been doing 5am nights now almost daily - i'm not sure how much more of this i can take. in addition to studio there is an essay that i need to get started on for Urban Design Theory, as well as another essay and case study for Contemporary Digital Practice. the latter i need to work on a little bit more because in the last class, the lecturer pointed at me and said "YOU WEREN'T HERE LAST WEEK!"

in which i not so brilliantly replied, "er..... yes, i overslept."

he was slightly stunned by my reply then said, "well. at least you're honest."

he seems to enjoy picking on me. the other time he stopped mid lecture to pick up the cupcake (which was gift from jois) that was by my feet and demanded, "How dare you bring food to class and put it right in front of my face!"

i'm sure it was in joking manner but i was dead embarrassed anyhow.

i have...... so much more to do, but here is sneak peek of design for this semester. it's obviously far from done - i'm just messing about with the rendering . it's meant to be a student accommodation, located at university square - and the challenging bit about this semester's design is the building is meant to show some sort of optical illusion.

wish me luck!

halfway

autumn is (finally) here (or has it been autumn for some time now?), and we're meant to expect temperatures below 20deg C this week - with rain most days. friends ask when is the best time to be in melbourne - sometimes it's quite hard to give a definitive answer as the weather is as erratic as the mother is indecisive.

it's time to now dust off those furry ugg booties, invest in a snuggie (très unfashionable, but highly practical) and refrain from eating too much...

speaking of eating too much, as of 2 weeks from now, i celebrate my 6th month as an acutetarian (or a pescatarian). i haven't regretted my decision yet to not eat meat - i don't think i feel any healthier than i did before, but it's gone to a point where i do feel rather squeamish at the sight of raw meat - and my thoughts go to the poor animal that was probably happily chewing on grass or hopping over fences before being inhumanely slaughtered.

i mean, imagine Babe. or Charlotte's Web. or Homeward Bound. animals talk and have feelings too, you know.

(apparently fish have feelings too (hello, Finding Nemo) but i can't seem to bring myself to not eat fish...)

i remember the day i declared to my friends and family that i was not going to eat meat anymore. it took them by surprise - and me too - because i totally forgot to consider the fact that i hated vegetables, fish, mushrooms, tofu and anything non-meat.

now i don't really have a choice.

i wonder if i should take the next step to turning vegetarian too?

this is how we sleep.

current music: someone to love by erin boheme

muffin protects me from nightmares.

A Change of Heart

I would like to thank supportive and concerned friends who have contacted me after my latest emo post. Especially the one who who said "fecking idiot, get over it!" and I know she said it because she loves me oodles and she can because she's known me for way too long.

I feel much better now! I know what I need to do. Path is clear and all I need to do is take the first trembling step to jog, yes jog, not walk, not crawl, down this path.

Oh yes, an image to show what I'm usually doing at home. Yes, your eyes are on the exercise machine behind me. I bought it a year ago but have used it a grand number of two times. Now it's gone all squeaky and I'm too self conscious to use it. Also you will note that I have Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol on my shelf. It is a very very good book. Gave me nightmares so don't read before bed. That and I wish I could be a noetic scientist.

Also, I'm smiling because.... I remember! I was talking to Kelly. It's a secret, Kells. I remember it has something to do with what WE need to do when I'm back in KL... something I'm going to drag you kicking and screaming to.... you know, that something that we've been saying for years we need to do...

I wish I could upload more photos (a friend said her eyes went all watery at the amount of text!) but my laptop has gone AWOL on me, and I have yet to send it to the genius IT people that will get it fixed. All my pictures, photo editing programs are on it, so I've been a bit apprehensive about uploading pictures because:

a. It will take me forever to upload it as image size is big

b. I won't be able to edit

c. So all pictures from this entry are resized from Photobucket (contrast/brightness tweaked from Photobucket as well for some pictures! V bad outcome!)

Here are some images that I have taken lately with the oldies at this courtyard around the housing area. A bit harder to take pictures of Goldie the golden retriever because she's totally deaf and partially blind. Baby on the other hand, is a natural camwhore. He adores the camera.

I think at some point you will notice that I rarely have any photographs other than those with the doggies or with family (or vain pictures of self). That's because in Abu Dhabi I am hermit crab! I always find that with friends it's easier to play around with the point-and-shoot, and really, when I need to practice my photography it's best to place it here.

I was recently presented with the opportunity to do some event photography, that with our (cough) beloved (cough) Prime Minister of Malaysia, Najib, and being paid for it! but I decided not to go for it as I was not experienced enough, but mostly because I lack the equiptment (flash, long range zoom) for it (okay, also because I was too chicken to do it).

Cherie suggested I steal the flash off the media people. What a brilliant idea! Anyway, it made me realise what a giant baby I am at this photography experience, and that really, I should take more time off to practice with different kinds of settings at different times of the day, tho' at the mo' it seems that I'm leaning more towards potraits/people/interior kind of photography. Must expand horizon.

I feel so much better now. Still counting the days till I can be back in KL/Melb so I can get that euphoric feeling again (without the alcohol, or maybe with the alcohol...)...

Did you say 'Biggest Idiot in the World?'

Because I am definitely up for the award. Call the Guinness World Record people. Having recently found out a big something something, that my dear friends have decided, for my own good because they love me **this** much that I would be better off not knowing, and then finding out on my own, and then feeling worse than shit, worse than scum, worse than.... you get the idea.

And ya know, when things like that happen I'm the type that would run into the arms of my closest friends, and we would talk about how all men are pigs and we're better off without them anyway (for now).... except they're all over the world and I'm here, alone (okay, not really, family don't count) having to put up a brave front.

I love my family to bits, but I am seriously dying here in Abu Dhabi. I need to go back to KL or to Melbourne and be with my friends and speak more than 10 words a day (I do here. Seriously.) because I'm sick of waking up and lugging myself around the house with this furry blanket because I'm cold all the time now. And sick. I miss drinking Moscato at night with the girls, I miss going out at 11 at night, just because I feel like that awful Tien-ren bubble tea, I miss not having to drive because I can just walk down the street to get some shopping done/decent meal/read/drink coffee.

I need to shake that bootay, get slightly tipsy, eat junk food while watching 'The Biggest Loser' and scream at that mad dog Muffin. And not stare at my very sad quiet Blackberry now because I'm too stingy to apply for roaming because I ain't paying those extra $$. Optus is a pain. Stay away from Optus.

I need to paint that final wall in my room, buy some rugs, change the furniture layout, hang some picture frames, get some pictures printed, hang new lights, work till I have coffee ridden ezcema hands at Gloria Jeans, go to the gym, visit that second hand bookstore that I oh-so-love, go vintage shopping, clean my wardrobe....

It's not that I'm not happy here. I am. But happy in a very, oh I can just wake up whenever, and the parents are so kind to spoil and shower with me such wonderful gifts, and yay! I never have to do my own cooking/laundry kind of happy.

So I concluded that what I do miss is the independence. And laughing. I haven't laughed in a while.

Morning Coffee

Dad has been in Abu Dhabi for quite a number of years now, but Mum has only been here for the last two years - and she has done wonders for the home we have here.

Property in Abu Dhabi is ridiculously expensive; and rental is usually higher than anyone's wages. There is also no control over the rental rates - we pay 350,000dirham (roughly AUD$100,000) a year for our 4 bedroom house - and our neighbour who lives in the opposite house pays 400,000dirham (about AUD$120,000) a year for a 3 bedroom unit. To make matters worse, rental has to be paid a year in advance!

The weather is beautiful this time of the year - the start of winter means it's still sunny but not ridiculously burning hot (50deg C in summer!). I love the mornings - I sit outside under the pergolas with my coffee and a good book.

I have yet to master my fancy SLR, so I'll have to do with my vintage-ising my images in Photoshop for now...

Dad hung a swing from the pergolas for sister.

My mom never went to design school, but yet she has a natural flair for small details and design. In one year, she transformed a cold, rented house - into a cozy home. Her choice of colours are brilliant - she braves two orange stools against a low cream coloured couch (pictures next time!), an antique cabinet next to a modern Ikea one - and even a red rug next to an orange rug.

Oh how I love this - how mum fitted a metal bucket with sand to hold down the blinds.

And when she showed me this multi-colored bowl she bought in Istanbul, I cringed my face in disgust. Oh how I love that how it looks now - also a plus that she has filled with with various Lindt and Patchi chocolates!

And finally, pictures of my two lovelies- my 12 year old golden retriever, Goldie - and my very, very obese 9 year old shihtzu, Baby.

Home

It's good to finally start blogging again - so many things happened this year (is it almost the end already?!) that has forced me to rediscover myself, re-analyse over and over again in my head what went wrong; constantly in debate on whether it was my fault that things don't work out the way I want it to -

- in reality, it's no one's fault - and life, oh, the irony of life - surely must go on. So here I am - a brand new start, as promised.

I have decided to title the blog 'Hello, beautiful' because that's the way you should feel all the time, regardless of what anyone else says about you. Whether you're carrying a world around your shoulder (or two, or three), whether you want to lose 10kgs, whether you've been heartbroken by a lover, betrayed by a friend, have a large zit (as my youngest sister kindly suggested while I was washing up in the morning, 'like Mount Zitmore') - you surely must believe that you're beautiful.